Fear and Failure

Here I am, checking in. It's been an exciting couple of weeks preparing for my departure from the real world. Packing bags, unpacking bags, losing track of items, taking rides, finding out what works and what definitely does not. Reconfiguring and repositioning gear over and over to maximize space, efficiency, and safety. I still have no idea what I'm doing, but I learn more every day.

In summary, I've been failing. A lot. Over and over. I don't know what I'm doing and that's ok. It's ok to fail, and try again. There are so many examples I see around me of people failing the thrive out of fear. Is there something you want right now? Maybe something you've wanted for a while? What are you doing to seek it? Anything? Are you so afraid of failure or rejection you aren't chasing that which occupies your dreams? STOP IT. Take that leap, kiss that guy, abandon everything that makes you comfortable in search of the "more" you're looking for. Maybe you don't know what IT is, you just know that there is something you are missing in your life. Go look for it, right now. You might fall, you might fail, but you also might fly. Life is too short to stop taking chances. I see people so immersed in practicality and comfort, miserable but unable to see any other way to be. Everyone should have their chance at happiness, but sometimes that means letting go of comfort. This is a scary concept, but getting out of your comfort zone is where you leave mere existence and enter the vastness that is truly living.

For me, this consists of leaving everything I know and have in exchange for the uncertainty that is the life of a nomad (ok, basically homeless.. but nomad sounds better). This is a drastic change and abandonment of comfort, and obviously not for everyone. Even something as small as finally talking to someone you've been wanting to get to know better, going somewhere you wouldn't normally go, trying a food you don't think you will like, etc. could be the shakeup you didn't know you needed. This may be the most exciting adventure of my life, or it may end in tears after only a week. I'm going to fail, over and over again. I may never make it to the end of my route. But I'm going to try. I am not afraid to fail.


This leads me to the next concept that has been occupying my thoughts, and that is fear itself. As more people in my life learn about my trip, they try to give me advice. I try to appreciate it, as I know this advice comes from a place of love and caring. Many people try to "knock sense into me," mostly about how I should be afraid. I should fear accidents, wildlife, nature, and especially other people. I am a woman (spoiler alert), how can I travel alone? I will surely be run over or murdered. Someone will surely target me and steal all of my belongings. I can't say for sure that will not happen, but bad things happen to good people every day. I will not walk through my life afraid. Afraid because I am a woman, afraid to explore alone, afraid to seek my own happiness because of what bad things may happen. I will not remain permanently indoors on the off-chance that someday it may start to rain. I try not to worry about things that are not in my control, and I do not let these possibilities keep me from pursuing my happiness. 

What do you think will make you happiest? Go do it. Do not waste one more day of your life living in a way, in a place, or around people who do not optimize your happiness. We only get one life, no do-overs, and we all realize years go by much faster than we once thought.